Making choices – creating your future
Q: Do your dreams feel out of reach? Is there a way to re-discover your agency?
While we are busy with work/life juggling, many of us may be more aware of our mental health concerns. In fact, 63% of Canadians revealed that stress has become a way of life. The pandemic and cost of living hikes continue these trends.
Various factors, including a shortage of mental health professionals can limit our ability to access wellness support.
We met with Jeff Thompson, one of the clinical team members at HealthyMe.This team believes that people can make the changes they seek. We asked Jeff about breaking through our barriers to help us reach our dreams.
Jeff combines your psychotherapy experience with a proven set of skills to support clients to find their life worth living. We know helping others to break through life’s barriers is close to his heart.
Q: Jeff, what are barriers and where do they come from?
A: As we humans grow and develop, we embrace ways of thinking. These patterns become set in the subconscious. Many patterns are helpful, but some patterns, for example fearful beliefs, can make it difficult to reach important decisions and realize goals. For example, an event may cause us to overdevelop our natural defence system into a fear-based pattern. Then that pattern can become a barrier.
These might have been learned in childhood, develop from failures in adulthood or even be genetically inherited, such as an anxiety disorder.
Q: Do barriers stand in the way of people reaching goals and dreams?
A: Yes, unfortunately. Sometimes we are aware of the reason, other times not. What we do know is that they can hold us back. It’s helpful when people can grow their awareness of the barriers they unconsciously develop.
During psychotherapy practice, people tell us about the many barriers that they believe prevent them from reaching their goals. They talk about fears, mental health issues, previous life experiences, or technical skill deficits.
At times, it’s difficult to make decisions about personal goals. Some people feel paralyzed by what they see are their barriers. They find it difficult to problem solve around those issues. Whatever the reason, these examples have a common result. People find it tough to move forward in their lives.
Q: Do you believe we purposefully put barriers in our own way?
A: No, for the most part, I don’t believe that people purposely create and put barriers in their lives. Regrettably, barriers are there. They are often a result of not having appropriate skills in different areas of their lives. Our work is to help people discover and learn suitable skills.
Q: Do barriers cause us stress?
A: Yes, barriers can be frustrating and stressful for people. This can be more so when people experience difficulties using problem-solving to reduce, or even remove their barriers.
Q: What is personal agency and how can it help?
At HealthyMe we believe in personal agency, even in difficult circumstances. By agency, we mean that people need to feel that they have control of their actions and the consequences in their lives. Or put another way, personal agency is knowing where you are in your life, what’s happening to you, and having the ability to shape your life events.
Q: What is a life worth living?
It’s a wonderful thing, and so important too. It’s a life that is meaningful, purposeful, and productive to you on your own terms. Some people may call this quality of life. Our team’s goal is to support people to learn the skills they need to build their life worth living.
Q: Can I grow my agency?
Things happen to us all. Life is a mad rush of conflicting responsibilities. We may feel a constant buzz of worry and anxiety. Agency can fade away. The good news is we can grow back greater agency and control. Our courses are designed to help people get the skills toolkit they need to do just this.
Q: How can a skills toolkit help me?
A: A skills toolkit opens a window of understanding. Anyone can identify the possible barriers that may be preventing them from experiencing their life worth living. Here are a few examples:
Someone may find asking directly and specifically for their needs is a barrier. The skills within interpersonal effectiveness are useful here. They are useful to help people balance their goal with the relationship, and their self-respect.
Perhaps managing emotions creates a barrier, then using the skills of emotion regulation can teach effective tools. By using them people can identify active emotions so they can manage them more effectively.
Emotion regulation skills can also teach the skills of building resiliency. This helps people to be less susceptible to dysregulated emotions. Resiliency is a protective factor for mental health issues, and helps us to cope with life’s curve balls.
Q: Can anyone use wellness tools?
A: Yes, wellness tools are skills. Like any skill, say a sport, mastery comes with practice. Practice does mean regular and reflective use of the skills. After conscious effort, the skills become yours. You can make the changes you seek. All you need is the willingness to persevere.